Before Pregnancy

I think it's important to understand a little bit about what I was like before pregnancy. I also have three main tips for pregnancy planning. I will go into more detail, but if you don't have the time, know these three things for before you get pregnant:

• If you're a while out from pregnancy, consider a fertility test like Modern Fertility and a 23andMe test in order to help plan and make decisions. They will help you plan if there are any potential issues.
  

• Try to max out your fitness level before pregnancy and start taking prenatal vitamins at least three months before trying to get pregnant. You'll have good habits, muscle to spare, and I'm pretty sure it helps you be more fertile as well. A strong body will also have an easier time with labor and delivery as well as postpartum recovery.
  

• Check off-limits medications for when you begin trying to get pregnant so you don't accidentally take it once you get pregnant. If you want to be EXTRA careful, then start eating like you're pregnant as well, so you don't get food poisoning from suspicious sushi the week you get pregnant.

Before I met my husband, I joked that I already had 200 children and didn’t need any more. I already had the fulfillment of raising my students to become good people through teaching them invaluable life lessons on the mats. Other reasons for avoiding pregnancy included: overpopulation of the Earth; inexperience with babies (I’d never changed a diaper in my entire life); and also a fear of accidentally raising a serial killer and being blamed for being a terrible parent, despite all my best efforts. (Hey, it could happen.) More selfishly, I knew enough about the process to be terrified about two main things : 1) the huge changes to the body I’d worked so hard to achieve and 2) pooping during labor and delivery. (Spoiler alert - no one cares about the second one, although depending on what kind of person your partner is, you should prep them ahead of time so they don't make you feel bad about it.)

This is all to say: I wasn’t 100% sure about this pregnancy thing. Obviously, I was okay enough that I was willing to try. My husband did not force me to get pregnant. Also, I absolutely love my baby and have been shocked at how quickly we bonded. However, I thought and still think I would’ve had a great, albeit different, life without him.

Anyway, I met my husband while getting my MBA and decided I would be willing to build a family with him. Every other man I dated I already had told them that children were a dealbreaker from the get go. Owen was different. I'm not saying it was easy, though. One time, probably due to all the stuff going on, I crumpled to the floor in the changing room at the dojang, sobbing about my identity change and having to give up my motorcycle when I got married so I could have a kid. I know, you can argue that you can still have a motorcycle AND a kid, but I was also about to be a business owner and I needed to be responsible and not risk my life regularly when I didn't have to.

So, 2022 was a bonkers year. All the Things got accomplished in 2022, although the set up really started in 2020, if we’re going to really break it down. Owen proposed in 2020, a year after we started dating. Of course, that was during COVID, so the wedding itself was not set until April 2022. (You can read more about my Taekwonwedding here.) During that time, we were both in the part-time MBA program at William & Mary. AND I planned to earn my 6th degree black belt in 2022 as well.

So, three things were happening simultaneously - planning my wedding for April 2022, finishing up my MBA and graduating in May 2022, and then submitting my 6th Dan application by the end of August 2022, which included a 10 page thesis and videos of my poomsae and sparring for Kukkiwon. Then, the secret goal for September 2022 was to get pregnant, after I passed my 6th Dan exam, because, fun fact, you are not allowed to test for black belt while pregnant.

Does that sound like a lot? Yes, which is why I didn’t do it all without some assistance. I double-dipped on my MBA and Kukkiwon thesis by making my assignments related to dojang work. For example, for my DEI class, I talked about autistic students at our dojang. I found coach Tim Thackrey and signed up for personal training so that I could get in my best shape of my life for the wedding, my 6th Dan exam, and of course, getting my body ready for pregnancy. I began taking prenatal vitamins in June, after graduating with my MBA. I also began reading What to Expect from start to finish, so that, well, I knew what to expect, well before the lines showed up on the pregnancy test.

Was I prepared? Yes. Were things still crazy? Also yes. Am I bragging a bit? Probably, but mostly I want you to understand the kind of person I am and what my life pre-pregnancy was like, so that you can understand how pregnancy affected me. I had it all planned out. I was doing all the things.

And yet. I thought it would take us a while to get pregnant. We only had to try for one month.

I was both ecstatic and disappointed at the same time. I was happy because I know some people try forever to get pregnant and it gets stressful. I was sad because I got to enjoy my super lean body, the leanest it had ever been, for all of two seconds. Okay, it was a little longer than that, but it sure felt awkward to have worked so hard and feel like it was going to get thrown away.

Please remember this - the hard work is NOT being thrown away. It will pay off in muscle retention, easier labor and delivery, a healthy baby, and postpartum recovery. Also, if you are already super active pre-pregnancy, you won't feel as bad lowering your level of fitness during pregnancy. Many people remarked that I was still doing so much while pregnant, and while I got frustrated inside because I knew it wasn't up to my usual standards, I also knew they weren't wrong. I had to pace myself differently and save energy for "big" event days, like belt testing, but for the most part, I could still teach class on the mats and do what I needed to do.

One thing I might have done differently, however, is to do a fertility test like Modern Fertility before we got married, or when I was single. I got pregnant at age 30, and my husband is a few years older than me, so it would have been stressful not to know if there were issues until we began trying to get pregnant. Then, you can plan ahead and know that things are in working order. Also helpful was the fact that my period was EXTREMELY regular and well-tracked, so the fertile window was very clear for me.

In addition, my husband and I took a 23andMe test to help our planning. Only one of us was a carrier for one genetic disease, which could only be passed on if both parents are carriers. While this does not mean that your child will be guaranteed free of any genetic issues, it can help you in planning and decision making by knowing your risk level.

One other note I would make about it pre-pregnancy: while you are trying to get pregnant, be aware of off-limits medications.

Thankfully, we were fine, but literally the week I got pregnant, I was on the watch for my period and then got a cold. I took my trusty Theraflu/Dayquil for two days and then found out that I was pregnant and that acetaminophen is OFF LIMITS during pregnancy and can affect the embryo.

In addition, if COVID is still a thing when you are reading this, GET THE VACCINE, because listen, if you get COVID, you can’t take ibuprofen, but then acetaminophen is off limits too, because you’re pregnant. Robitussin is okay, though. I had to take that once or twice while pregnant. Overall, though, I tried really hard to avoid medications, especially in the first trimester. This is all my personal experience, however. Please consult your medical professional and do not rely on this one blog post to guide your decisions.

So that's the pre-pregnancy stuff. My next post will cover the first trimester!!!